Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Just Sayin'

So, last night I had a nightmare. Not a jump out of bed with my heart racing kind. (I had that the night before-Meres fingers were getting pinched)

No, this kind was one of those ones were everything goes wrong, and you can't get out of it.

I dreamed that I left for the Influence conference without my computer. And we got lost on the way down. And we just never arrived.


Suffice it to say, I've made a list, and I'm checking it twice. And I, for once, have a whole suitcase to myself (this is a big deal-I have been sharing suitcases for 11 years) so I am going to live large, and pack too much. Because I can.

Oh, and I am going to download directions to my iPod today or tomorrow. And print up a hard copy too. No, I'm not obsessive compulsive.

What this dream reminded me of was that what is on our hearts and minds tends to work its way out. I am nervous and excited about Influence. And, I dreamt about it.

Let me clarify that this post is not at all about dream interpretation. Though, I do find that if I am stewing about something I quite often will dream about it too. Like my mind is trying to work it out while I sleep.

Moving on...the idea that what is on our minds and hearts tends to work its way out is a Biblical one. Luke 6:45 states that out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart the mouth speaks.

fountains are a great picture of the relationship of our mouths and hearts
I think too often we try to back track on something we said by saying, "I didn't really mean that." And sometimes that is true. What we said wasn't what we meant to say. Or what was understood wasn't what we meant.

"Just sayin'" has become today's cloaked way of letting someone know that even though what you said was nasty, and was totally meant in a nasty way, they should just excuse it, because it is what that you said and think.

Yes, quite often what we say is exactly what we mean, and what we feel. We just have some sinner thoughts going on in our hearts.

Thoughts that need confessing to God. Thoughts that need confronted and let go.

we've come across lots of fountains in our travels this year

I heard someone quote Psalm 19:14 last week. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer.

I can often disguise what is in my heart in casual conversation. Though, if I have a problem with you, it generally is pretty obvious that I have a problem. I'm not too good at faking it.

But, I can rein it in, and be polite. My words are acceptable.

Sarcastic chuckle...

But the mediation of my heart is disgustingly horrid. NOT ACCEPTABLE at all in God's sight.

Furthermore, no matter how polite I can be with my words, my body language fairly quickly leaks out what is in my heart. What I am meditating on.

To meditate is to think deeply. To focus one's mind on for a period of time. What am I meditating on?

Sometimes it's God's Word. That's good. Sometimes it is what I am thinking about for blog posts. That's okay too. Sometimes it is ruminating over things that I've learned or read recently.

And sometimes it is snarky, mean, sinful thoughts about the people in my life. People at church. People online. Family. Mr. Hippie.

Why did they do such and such? Why aren't they doing such and such? Why aren't they more like me? (So kind, and thoughtful and organized and ...=)) Why????

And those thoughts are not pleasing to God.

Since I'm confessing, I am going to let a big one out of the bag. Sometimes when Mr. Hippie and I are having a disagreement, I give him the silent treatment. My rational-at least I'm not saying what I'm thinking. You know?

Except that I am thinking. My thoughts are racing. I am meditating on things that aren't kind, or profitable. That are downright nasty and sinful.

And God doesn't appreciate my closed mouth any more than Mr. Hippie does. God sees my heart.

While I'm not advocating that I should say to everyone exactly what is on my heart, and I am saying, God is holding me responsible for the thoughts of my heart.

And I need to confess them. And confess them again if need be. And forgive. And then bring my issues up in an acceptable manner.


Philippians 4:8 has some great parameters for what we should be thinking about...
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue, if there be any praise,
THINK on these things.

Not, "do" these things. Think on these things.

I am ashamed to admit that I need to start practicing these thoughts, more than just being able to quote the verse. Only then will the meditations of my heart be acceptable in God's sight.

But, to not leave us feeling bogged down with guilt or hopeless, how does Psalm 19:14 close?

My Strength and My Redeemer.

Just like with anything else, it isn't our strength that is going to reform our thoughts and words. We don't have to screw up the effort to get this done.

Jesus Christ is our Redeemer. He died on the cross to pay the penalty for those sinful thoughts. And He is able to redeem us from them. We serve a new master. He has put a new song in our mouths-praise to God. And it is His strength that allows us to be different. That conforms us to His image.

And that is what is truly on my heart. Just sayin'.

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