The Basis of a Woman's Worth

This is for my sisters. For my blood sisters. For my spiritual sisters. For my sisters who are sisters simply because they are female. This is my heart.

I started a novel on Sunday. I read a few pages, and said, "I can't read about this. I can't read this book." It hit a trigger that I didn't even know was a trigger.

The trigger was cutting.

I can't read about this subject in books because I know girls who have cut themselves. It is such a broken thing to do. My heart breaks for these girls and their broken hearts that makes them feel this is a good option. It makes me weep.

I don't pretend to fully understand cutting or the thought processes behind it. I just know that the  physical pain is supposed to somehow assuage or silence the guilt, hurt and shame we are daily bombarded with in our cultures...

You are not worthy. You are not enough.

To say nothing of the conflicting messages we hear that reinforce this unworthiness and plague our minds.

Be a certain (small) size. But, don't spend too much time exercising. That's obsessive and neglectful of priorities.

Be forthright and state what's on your mind, but don't be upset or hurt someone else's feelings.

Don't be too detached but don't be too emotional. Too emotional is hysterical. Too detached is cold-hearted.

Be confident and successful, but not too successful. Too successful means you are a b____.

Be modest-in dress and actions. Be a sex kitten in the bedroom and don't neglect your conjugal obligations.

Don't sacrifice your career and dreams for kids. But have kids. But don't have too many kids.

Find the perfect median in every activity and attitude and look and pursuit; but don't look like you are trying. That is the cardinal failure.

Finding that perfect balance should be effortless. Or so we are told.

But, not only is it not effortless, it is elusive. The tension is crazy. Flailing and failing eats at our sense of enough. Our sense of worthiness.

These ideas wiggle and niggle their way in from outside sources because its already the track that is playing in our own hearts. We are operating from a place of guilt and shame and not from a place of grace and dependence on God.

The only comfort I find to this daily conundrum, is that my worth is not in myself. It's not in my accomplishments. It's in one thing alone.

...the Son of God (Jesus), who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

That is the basis of my worth. Jesus loved me enough to give His life for me. The same is true for you.

So, I run miles and I pray. I pray for my sisters. I pray for my girl friends. I pray for myself. That this truth will overrule all the lies that are screamed in our faces and into our hearts.

Our worth does not lie in having a boyfriend or being married. Though our worth is tied to a man. It is based on a man's love. Not a human man. The God-Man, Jesus. Our worth does not lie in having a career or staying at home. Being skinny, or fat, or somewhere in-between.

Someone once told me that I should be doing all.the.things. It's my job because I am a stay at home wife and mother. Cooking, cleaning, home schooling, writing, reading, bathing babies, feeding babies, running, swimming, baking bread, baking cookies, making nutritious meals for my family every day, grocery shopping, laundry, sewing, gardening, yard work. Everything. Because I am a stay at home mom, and this is my job, and it is what I am supposed to do.

But my worth does not lie in my accomplishments. Whether I've finished my to-do list, or left a bunch of chores uncrossed. My worth is not measured by someone else's impossible list for me. My enough is not based on when I (or someone else) feel I've done enough.

Our worth is inexorably linked to the fact, to the truth, that Jesus Christ loved me and gave Himself for me.

Embrace it, sisters. That's worthy and that's enough.

Most Precious Commodities

Commodity: a useful or valuable thing

Last night I was mentioning to a friend how much bicycling I did this summer and the fact that I love it so much. The sunshine. The exercise factor. The wind in my face.

The quiet.

Most of my bike rides are by myself. It is just me and my thoughts. No one is talking to me or talking at me. Having four kid talkers, you have got to know that silence is golden.

There are a few people out and about when I cycle, and I greet them. But, for the most part, it is just me, myself and I. In the wind. With the crickets.

So wonderful.

This whole train of thought continued on (incidentally, on a bike ride this afternoon). What else do I value? What is precious to me? What do I miss the most when it becomes increasingly absent from my life?

Time. I think everyone values time to some degree. Most people are keen to save time. We want to use our time wisely. Because, the thing about time is, that once it is gone-its gone forever. You will never get that moment, that sliver of time back. And, each one of us is only allocated a very finite amount of time in this life. Every day we have less and less time left to us.

My kids. They fill the corners of my life 24/7. They are always around. Tugging, talking, asking, fighting. But, I really don't know what I'd do without them. They are my most precious commodity. They are the primary thing entrusted to my care. To nurture and train and love.

Water. So, this is not a green agenda thing-'cause I am not green. But, I do value water. I value cold water for drinking and hot water for showers. I value the sound of water cascading over rocks and spilling out of fountains and thundering on beaches. I appreciate water in pools and lakes for swimming. And I really value water when I am on a long training run or in a race. Every drop seems necessary to combat dehydration. Water is awesome!

Chocolate. Dark chocolate. Is there any need to say more?

Sunshine. I love the sunshine. I LOVE the SUNSHINE. I wilt in dreary November and February. I lag and drag on gloomy days but perk right up when the sun is shining. There is no such thing as too much sunshine (imho). I soak up the rays and glory in it during the spring, summer and fall, because the winter is so long, grey and gloomy.

Mr. Hippie. I don't think there is a limit on how much time I can spend with him. The more time we have together, the more I want. The conversations. The fun times. The quiet times.

I can live with out a whole lot-I think. I can even live a month without chocolate if need be. But, I crave sunshine, quiet, water, time, Mr. Hippie and my kids (generally). These things are my core commodities. Some are tangible. Some are intangible. They are the things that I put first when I am arranging my schedule. I will arrange and rearrange my days to fit as much of these things in as possible.

These thoughts bring to mind two verses...

...you know that you were not redeemed with corruptible things like silver and gold...but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a Lamb without blemish and without spot. (1 Peter 1:18,19)

For the redemption of their soul is precious...(Psalm 49:8)

God's most precious commodity was His Son, Jesus Christ. But, He gave that precious commodity out of sacrificial love for the world. The price you are willing to pay for something drives up it's value. Which makes the value of a soul very high. Very precious indeed.

What is your most precious commodity? 

Gotta Rich Uncle?

Don't we all harbor a secret desire that we'd have an unexpected rich uncle pop up and leave us an inheritance of epic proportions?

I don't have a rich uncle ( though I do have an Uncle Rich by marriage), or at least if I do, he hasn't shown up yet. But I have received several inheritances.

There was the tea pot brooch from Aunt Elsie. Aunt Elsie was not really my aunt, but I loved and admired that woman so much, I named my daughter after her. The first couple years we were married, I used to walk to the rest home where she lived to visit every Thursday afternoon. We would talk. She would talk. She would tell me tales of her 70 years of marriage, and of being an immigrant from Scotland while a child, and so many other wise things.

did I mention this plays "I'm a Little Teapot?" Rather poignant.

Then there was the china, lamps, washer and dryer from my granny. Very practical, people. I use them almost every day. Well, not the china, but you know what I mean.

And then there was the ceramic casserole dish from my great grandma. I really don't know why I love this, but I do. It screams 70s with its retro brown hues. I think it is precious to me because she was precious to me. I use this casserole on a weekly basis. And I always smile and remember my great grandma. I remember watching Oprah with her, and going shopping at the mall. I remember helping her clear out the trailer she had lived in for around 30 years. I loved her, and so I love this memory of her.

My favorite casserole dish. I certainly think it prettier now than I did at first.

Far more costly, but much less precious is a set of genuine silverware set that my grandma gave me. I also love my grandma a lot. And I have great memories of her. But, this is not her silverware. It was someone else's in the family. Someone I don't think I ever met. And, though worth a lot monetarily, it doesn't tug at my heart strings. And, frankly, I haven't used it either. It sits in my basement, in its beautiful box, unused.

you know, it is kind of beautiful. I may just have to give it a whirl one of these days...

(Which isn't to say I won't use it someday. And I certainly won't hock it. Well, unless we are destitute and its the difference between eating or storing silver.)

Hmmm...I can't say this doesn't remind me of a certain Bible story I read again recently. The story of Esau selling his birthright, his inheritance, for a bowl of bean stew. (okay, forget that I mentioned anything about hocking my silver for food.)

Esau didn't value his inheritance. It had no attachment to him. He didn't want it. As a matter of fact, Genesis 25 says that Esau despised his birthright.

Jacob wanted Esau's inheritance. He saw the value of the promises of God.

So, you already know how I treat my physical inheritances. You know the ones I value and the ones I don't. It is pretty easy to see the correlation of the value I place on my different inheritances with the value I placed on my relationship with the giver of the inheritance.

You know we have to follow this thread further...

My relationship with God is my most important treasure. It is my most valuable relationship. He is my first priority.

So, how do I value the inheritance God has given me? An inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and that fades not away. Reserved in heaven for me. It won't rust or tarnish. It won't be depleted. It is waiting for me.

-The inheritance of His Son's perfect life, and death on the cross to pay the price for my sins? Do I value that enough to present my body a live sacrifice to God?

-The inheritance of a relationship with God. Daily and tangible. Do I make investing in our relationship by reading His Words to me in the Bible, and by talking to Him, the first thing of my day? The most important event of my day?

-The inheritance of the Holy Spirit's presence within me. To seal, guide, and teach. Do I avail myself of that?

-The inheritance of being holy and blameless before Him in love. Predestined to be adopted as a son (daughter) of God. Redemption through His precious blood. Forgiveness. Knowledge of God's will. Living for the praise of His glory. According to Ephesians 1, these are all portions of my inheritance from God.

-The inheritance of eternal life. Forever.in heaven.with Jesus Christ. No sickness, sadness or death. Surrounded by all things beautiful. The light of God's presence. That's what's waiting for me.

Am I living like I'm rich? Am I using my inheritance? With a heart over flowing in gratefulness, contentment and love? Or is my inheritance gathering dust like my silverware?

the silver was underneath this table, behind all this junk. Which is probably one reason why I never use it.
Let's get it out, and show it off!

How are you treating your spiritual inheritance? Like the unused silver or the well used casserole?