Thursday, October 29, 2015

My "Thank-You" Notes

So, I've admitted before that one of my secret vises (along with eating M&Ms and buying fresh flowers) is watching Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show clips on YouTube. I love the LipSync battles.

And the Thank-You notes.

In honor of Jimmy Fallon, not horrible secret vises, and Thanksgiving in less than a are my own Thank-You notes...

(I just need some piano music to be piped in right on cue...)(Also, I've improved the wheel by adding hashtags. You're welcome.)

-Thank you, World Heath Organization, for informing us this week that bacon and red meat are killing us. We Americans are all running out very quickly to stock up on tofu so we can live to a miserable but ripe old age. #Not #I'dRatherDieYoungFromBaconExposure

-Thank you, Mr. Hippie, for refusing to cover your mouth when you cough, and violently projecting germs all over me. I'm quite positive "in sickness and in health" doesn't mean that you have to make me share each and every one of your colds. #NotAHappyWife

-Thank you, Panera Bread, for discontinuing my favorite sandwich, the Chipotle Chicken Panini. No, your new chipotle mayo doesn't compare. And, yes, I am sure I could try a different sandwich. But why would I want to? #IfItAintBrokeWhyFixIt

-Thank you, end of Daylight Savings Time, for giving us an extra hour to stay up on Saturday, and still get to church early on Sunday. But, also for messing with our kids' minds and bodies for the next several weeks. #ItReallyIsBedTime #WhyAreYouUpSoEarly #ThatExtraHourIsSoNotWorthIt

-Thank you, put some lipstick on it, for making me look like a veritable Sleeping Beauty while I am confined to my bed with aforementioned cold. #FakeItTilYouMakeIt

-Thank you, M&Ms, for introducing me to the world of false advertising. M&Ms sure do melt in your hands. #TryItIfYouDontBelieveMe #MeltInYourMouthNotInYourHandsNOT

-Thank you, 7 Minute Abs Workout App on my iPad, for changing dependable moves like toe touches and bicycles into contortions that I can't work my mind, let alone my body, around. #SexySlimAbsFail

-Thank you, Meijer, for helping me fight the battle of the bulge by carrying Brach's Candy Corns instead of Brach's Candy Pumpkins. #TheyAreNotTheSame #SmallVictories

-Thank you, Philippa Gregory, for writing The Taming of the Queen, which pushed me over the edge of utterly despising King Henry VIII. #UltimateMaleChauvinistPig

-Thank you, the Unsung Heroes of Coffee shops, for carrying options other than pumpkin spice during September, October and November. #PSLdoNotRock

-Thank you, Wide Leg Trousers, for giving the fashion world another glimpse of you. #BackInStyle #WhatGoesAroundComesAround

-Thank you, Printed Leggings, for showing that a bad trend can get much-much worse. #TellMeWhenItsOver

Who/what deserves a thank you note from you?