Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Profound Thoughts to Accompany Your Coffee

Well, maybe not profound. But these are some of the thoughts that have been accompanying my coffee this week...

-Meres has a cold. And she genuinely doesn't feel very good. How do I know? Besides the glassy eyed, runny nose thing she has going on? Well, she left the dinner table last night because she wanted to lie down. Pretty soon I heard her hollering for help. She wanted to get her conjammers (her word) on so that she could go to sleep. She was out, a mere 15 minutes later. At 6:30. She woke up about 9:00 for an hour, and then was out until 8:00 this morning.

-I've been reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. Many of my friends had it on their best books of 2015 lists. I do have to say that I am enjoying it. One thought that I am pondering, but not settled in my mind about, is that we often operate from a position of scarcity. Not enough...time, sleep, audience, etc.

Another thought is to not parent by shaming. Guilt is one thing. Shame is a whole other. More fodder.

But, the thought that is really sticking with me-that I keep returning to over and over again-is the thought that anger is a secondary emotion. It is the socially acceptable emotion. But it is only indicative of a deeper problem. I think that is very true, so when I have been angry-annoyed-irritated, I've been trying to dig down to the why. What is really bugging me?

-I've been contemplating layers also. No, not hair layers. Layers of events and emotions. This past Sunday was our last Sunday at our church. This is the church I've been at my entire married life. It is the only church my kids have known. When we made the decision, there was a measure of relief and even excitement. The ending of one chapter and the beginning of another.

But, what bit me in the butt yesterday was just some profound mourning. Mourning for the end of a chapter. I totally didn't expect the mourning. I never do, for some odd reason. I spent the majority of Monday morning in bed, alternating between crying and crying some more. I was feeling rather lost, and set adrift.

I'm better today. I'm thankful for friends who pray for me when I can't quite formulate a prayer for myself. And I am thankful for friends who listen and say, it's okay. I was challenged in a great message last night that if we need direction, the place to look is the Word of God.

Regardless, yesterday reminded me that things are never as black and white as we'd hope. Life and actions are nuanced.

Also, I wrote a post yesterday filled with all the feelings. I decided to sleep on it and run it past Mr. Hippie before publishing. Which was prudent move. In the light of a less emotional state, it was probably good to have gotten it off my chest then and to delete it now forever...

-Back packing in Spain is taking up mental space. We know how we are getting to Spain. We know where we are staying in Madrid (and arrangements are in the works for Barcelona). Until yesterday, our travel arrangements from Madrid to our friends' town, and then from their town to Barcelona, were still up in the air. And I have no idea what we are doing in Madrid or Barcelona.

(if you've ever visited either of these cities, let me know what your don't miss, don't bother activities are)

And there is so much to do before we go. Like trip stuff, and life stuff. LC needs jeans. Meres needs jeans. 1099s need made for the 2014 tax year. Payroll needs finished before the 1099s can be filled out. Menus need assembled for She Plans Dinner. It is going to be a busy 3 weeks.

There is a reason we take off in February. Weather here is not conducive to roofing (or much else, for that matter). But, I always forget what a challenge it is to complete tax stuff before we go on our trips. I'm glad I didn't schedule this for January, like our trip to Indonesia and Japan, but still...

Btw, I am totally pumped about only taking back packs to Spain. Seriously?! How convenient and portable and scaled back. Hopefully my vision will pan out.=)

-Have you seen the viral video clip that someone took of a woman getting beat up by another woman? There is like a crowd of 9-10 bystanders who are watching and no one comes to the defense of the victim except her two year old son. I had seen the clip in my news feeds but have not watched it. While getting an eye brow wax I saw Dr. Phil on television talking with the victim.

And I wonder what our world has come to that a person's first impulse is to make a video of violence instead of stopping it.

It makes my spirit sigh with heaviness. Really.

Dr. Phil polled his audience-who would record, who would defend. No one raised their hands about recording. Everyone raised their hands about defending. But, I think that people aren't being honest with themselves.

I mean, we don't want to look horrendous by saying, oh yeah, that's what I'd do. But the fact of the matter is, this is not the first video recording of violence or even stupidity. By "normal" people of "normal" people.

It made me think of the similarity to this phenomena and that of the Colosseum in ancient Rome. People watching other people be attacked by still other people or by animals.

It is kind of scary when you think about it.

-Pilates aren't for the faint of heart. So, my mailman (he is the quintessential mailman, seriously), with whom we have a very good relationship, suggested that I take up Pilates to help strengthen my core. I borrowed a dvd from the library, Easy Pilates. Snort. Either that woman has much longer arms, and way shorter legs than me, or she's made of rubber-but there is not much easy about easy pilates. Just sayin. I can feel the difference in my core after doing the exercise though. It makes me want to stand straighter and suck it in, up and down-respectively.

I'll leave you with that particular mental picture...What's been on your mind lately?