Thursday, August 15, 2013

Field of Dreams

What are the deep desires and hopes of your heart? What are your dreams?

I have been contemplating the idea of dreams lately. Maybe since I have been reading Holley Gerth's book, You are Made for a God-Sized Dream. I had seen mentions of it flowing around the web and I decided to read it for myself. I'm actually only just beginning the fifth chapter, but as with most nonfiction I read, it has got my wheels turning. It has been very encouraging, but I almost feel like I'm not at this stage of my life right now.

I'm not exactly full of dreams. Plans, yes. Dreams, ummm-I don't know.

I have plans to run a half marathon in just over a month, and to participate in 2 triathlons in the next 3 weeks. I made goals and I am almost there.

These plans are concrete. And doable. Step by step by step.

Dreams seem much more fluid and hazy. More maybe someday.
my dreamer pose.=) I mean, who couldn't help dreaming in a dreamy dress like this?=)
Nate Thomas photography.

What are my dreams?

I dream of living in Europe for a year. Finding a fairly central location and traveling all around to see and soak up the history.

I have lots of travel dreams. Europe, the British Isles, Israel, out East, out West. We have put feet to some of them, and we are working towards others. 

I've dreamed of running a B&B, but it seems like an awful lot of work. People always in your home, no holidays. Nah...I like my solitude and space too much.

I've dreamed of being a camp cook. I love the busy but laid back life style.

I've dreamed of writing my own school curriculum that meshes with my interests in history and geography. I am doing that this year. 

I have dreams of a dream house. Open staircases, a big kitchen, a library with two floors and ladders and a spiral staircase and a fireplace. A home big enough for company.

I have a home big enough for company right now. It certainly gets tight, but it works. We have people over on a regular basis. Friends and family to laugh with, and discuss plans, and challenge thinking.

I have dreams of being an influential woman for God. Challenging other women like I have been challenged. Challenging in ministry, home making, hospitality. Challenging women to serve with their husbands. Challenging women to use what they have.

I have a blog, where I connect with women everyday. Where I am living out this dream. Maybe not huge scale, but certainly more than I am able to IRL.

I wonder if I am having a hard time voicing specific dreams because I really am content in my life right now. I am living a life I absolutely love. I am a wife and a mother. I have the life I always dreamed of. I don't feel I am settling. I don't necessarily crave more. I'm not exactly feeling restless.

I feel like I am in a good twilight zone, a place of no dreams. Not that I've never had them, or they aren't coming, I just don't know what they are right now.

Dreams are fluid. They are hazy. They change. And generally, you don't just have one dream. You have many faceted dreams.

And so I pray. I pray because I have recently given up several of the ministries I was involved in. I felt they were costing my family and my marriage too much. I wasn't feeling peace.

Yet now I wonder, how can I be ministering more IRL? I have always had some form of ministry going, though sometimes it has all drifted away for a season. God clearing out the old to make room for something new.

I do want to be/do all God has for me. I don't want to reach the end of my life and regret what I haven't done for God.

So, I am praying. What dreams/plans does God have for me? What strengths and skills has He given me that He is wanting me to use for Him in this season? Mr. Hippie and I are both feeling stirrings. Not earth shattering, but still small nudges. We aren't remotely sure what this season holds for us, but we are taking things step by step. It's obedience.

While I may not know what is on my plate, God does. More than knowing, He is planning for me and my future.  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

What are you currently dreaming about? Are your dreams clear or a bit hazy? Have you prayed about your dreams?