Tuesday, April 10, 2012

This is a test...This Is Only A Test

Is it just me, or do girls seem to take the teething thing to a new level? Talk about drama...the diaper rash, early snuggly mornings, sobbing-all day, no naps-or very short ones. I don't remember the boys handling teething quite this badly. Even Els wasn't nearly as emotional. Which is saying a lot. Meres-she is driving me nuts. In a teething way. She is cutting her second top front tooth, plus a bottom side one, and a top side one. She is snotty and cranky. She does a fake cough for attention. Its like she already knows I have nightmares about my kids choking. (seriously, I do-that and drowning) I love her. But I really can't hold her all day. Sigh....
Honestly, I am a complainer. I am totally pessimistic-glass half full and all that. I aim for realism, but often hit the darker side. I am not a bouncy personality. I have to look for things to be thankful for. Things not to complain about. Things that make me smile.
And right now, I am having a hard time trying to find the silver lining in life. Life is hard right now. Mr. Hippie and I are being sifted. Tried and tested. It is nothing that I feel I can share on a public blog. But it is shadowing my days. It is enervating me.
Our Red Bud tree. Truly something to smile about today.
God wants to use suffering in our lives. Sometimes we experience suffering because suffering is common...it is the result of a sinful world full of sin and sinners. Some suffering is corrective. God uses it to weed out the bad. Sometimes suffering is constructive. God will bring suffering in our lives to change us into the people He wants us to be. To make us more like Jesus Christ. To make us mature and complete, not lacking anything. And sometimes suffering is cosmic-it is simply to bring God glory.
James tells us in his epistle to count it all joy when you fall into many kinds of testing. I have to say that my first reaction, (and third and fourth) is never joy. It can range from hurt to anger, confusion or complaining. Not joy. Are you kidding me?=) Who likes a test anyway? Interesting though, is that this injunction to count it all joy is followed by the instruction to ask God for wisdom if you find you are lacking it. Contextually you'd have to think this means that if you don't understand the purpose for your trial-if you don't know if it is common, constructive, corrective, cosmic, or a combination-you can ask God for understanding. He may let you know. He may not. But, He never rebukes a genuinely seeking heart. Psalm 62 tells us to pour our hearts out to God. He is our refuge. Furthermore, He is in control. And whatever the nuts and bolts, or reasons why, we know that He is working out this suffering for His glory and our good.
So, while I am having a hard time with some major things right now, I am asking for wisdom. I am striving for the joy.
But God is faithful...He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear.