Monday, February 20, 2012

If You Can't Say Anything Nice

Have you seen those montages of six photos cropping up on FB? The what everyone thinks we do, what I think we do, what we really do, ones? They seem to be really popular right now.

Anyway...some are more funny than others. I personally liked the home schooling one.

A popular blog/FB topic also is "10 things." Well, having recently been pregnant, and having lots of friends in the same boat, this is MY list of

10 Things You NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman (in no particular order)

1. Is this your first baby? I don't know why, but this one always irritates me. Like being pregnant is awesome if its number one, but you must be insane if it happens to be more than your first.

2. Are you having twins? Are you sure you're not? Seriously?! Just come right out and say they look like a fat cow. Plus it also implies that you must be an idiot, as well as your care taker, if you haven't discovered that lurking second baby.

3. Wow! You must have your hands full! Doesn't everyone?

4. Four! (or 3, or 5, or...) Was this a surprise? Three kids does not constitute a big family. Six kids isn't even a big family. 11/12-that's a big family. And I said "big", not "too big." Surprise or not-its none of your business.

5. Go ahead, you're eating for 2! I don't want to look like I ate for two. And what is your excuse?

6. You're still here? Yes, I am! I'm not due for another month. I will be walking through these doors many more times.

7. You must be so uncomfortable. Yes, I am. Thanks for asking. But I'll survive. Do I really look that bad?

8. My labor was forever...Leave the note comparing until after.

9. Can I rub your belly? I don't know...can I rub yours? It is not a good luck charm.

10. Do you know what you are having?No, I have chosen not to find out. Or I just don't want to say. And please don't speculate by the size of my rear.

Btw, this is not an announcement. At all. My baby is just 8 months (today), and this is all still fresh in my mind. I have gotten bigger with each successive child. There is nothing cute or radiant about me.

As a matter of fact, I was over 8 months pregnant with LC when my sil got married. There was a family picture taken. For some reason I was in the front row, and there is a profile shot of me. Its not one of those sweet pictures people post. I look huge (bc I was huge). And you couldn't just photoshop me out, because you'd lose 50% of the picture.

So, if you are a guy, stick to positive words. "Radiant, brilliant, cute, and good" are all appropriate adjectives. If you are a woman and were pregnant before, remember the golden rule. Would/did you like someone saying the same thing to you?

I will admit that pregnant women are rampant with hormones, and take even more things wrong. But, if you can't say something nice (or what the other person would think as nice) don't say anything at all.

I remember a funny RD story. A doctor was giving a woman an ultrasound and complimented the nice whale tattoo on her belly.

The woman replied "it used to be a dolphin."


what 90% of observers seem to think I look like
What my bff thinks I look like

what my midwife thinks I look like

what I think I look like

what my husband thinks I look like

what I actually look like