Today I feel a bit like that mouse. I'm am totally at the end of my rope. And I am hanging on for dear life. Trying to find the joy. And the promised enabling.
My knots today include...
-Feeding Meredith at 4:15 this morning. I usually get up about 4:30 to go swimming. All last week Meredith woke up very near my leaving time, keeping me from heading out the door. This morning I was discouraged. But there I am, lying in bed, feeding her. And she is looking up at me, very alertly, with her beautiful, big, blue eyes. And I just can't be too discouraged. And she kept thumping her arm on Brian, like, "I'm here between two of my favorite people." Precious. My knot...
-Brian watching the kids for me so I could swim at the 10:00 swim, since I didn't make it to the 5:00 swim. I kept swimming, and as I was stroking away, I thought, "this is a gift." I swam my heart out, for my best post-Meredith time yet. I am getting mighty close to my pre-Meredith times. And my average is getting there too. Another knot...
-Seeing Elsie in her tutu. The short one, with the red sequins. It is unbelievable. And its her. And I have to smile watching her trounce around in it. Hanging on...
-Praying with my kids. Hearing their child like faith requests, and absolute confidence in God's answers. Knowing that they are getting the picture, whether from my words, or actions, or from other people. When I fail, God is still Faithful!
The thing is, unlike the mouse, hanging on for dear life, I just have to cling to God. But He is anchoring my soul. He has me in the hollow of His hand. Underneath are those omnipotent, everlasting arms.
Morning by morning new mercies I see...
